I’ve been lonely today. Staying at home is such a solitary business. I always think I should feel more free now that my daughter is in preschool, but the burden of household responsibilities weigh on me sometimes. I’m in that place where I want a change of scenery again, and that gets dangerous for me. I start thinking the answer is outside of myself–a job? A new house? A class? Graduate school?
I just feel unfulfilled right now, and I’m wondering: how ‘fulfilled’ should I feel? How satisfying is my life supposed be? I desire to be God’s and be used by Him in whatever way pleases Him, but what if I don’t FEEL useful? I have gifts and talents going unused at this time–this phase of my life, and I don’t know if I’m to get out there and do something with what I have, or to trust and to wait–peaceful and sure that God will direct me to the next thing.
