So I’m thinking about graduate school. Thinking about it A LOT. My big worry is that I’ll look back and say ‘yeah, I got that degree, but I missed years of Sadie’s life.’ Because I’m not that good multi-tasking. I can be somewhat (ahem…) all or nothing. Balance is hard for me to come by NOW–and I only have a 10 hour a week job. What if I were enrolled in a graduate program? Would I disappear altogether?
And then there are my motives. (Must I always examine those pesky things??) Do I want a degree because I’ll feel like a more valid person? Do I believe it will be the answer to the proverbial What Am I Here For, Anyway question? Like Oh, NOW I know what I want to be when I grow up. Having an advanced degree, much like the idea of publishing a book, should, I believe, fill the vacuous hole inside me that begs for affirmation, and, well, worship. There I said it. I will be worshipped if 1), I publish a book; Or 2), obtain an advanced degree.
Somehow wanting to be worshipped seems wrong to me. Didn’t someone get booted out of heaven for that?
Wow. You are very ambitious. I just want to get my toddler fully potty-trained! And, well, I want to educate all of my children well, do an ecellent job with my home business, please my husband, be involved in my ministries, complete my degree, and have an immaculate house. Okay, so I guess we’re both ambitious…or crazy. The truth hurts, doesn’t it? We all want affirmation. I especially wish my husband would look at what I do and get excited.