Ghost Sock

I was stretching at the gym earlier, and I was a little bit startled to see Tate’s feet. I had her little footie socks on that she always wore, and my brain changed my wide, chunky feet to her delicate, dainty ones–including her little chicken ankles.  I swear, I was wearing my sister’s feet, like [...]

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The ‘Pathetic Scene File’

Today was a rough one. I was listening to my ipod, bopping around–unloading the dishwasher happy as you please–when I heard this tiny snippet of a song. It reminded me of a song that my mom used to play when my sister Tate and I were little. It wasn’t even the SAME song. It just [...]

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Good For What Ails Ya

I’m feeling a little better today. Although Dan has been telling me for YEARS, and every book on depression mentions EXERCISE, I finally have begun a routine. I have been sporadic for years with exercise, but thanks to some great motivational friends here, I have been reaping some benefits of those wonderful endorphins. I never [...]

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When?

What happens if all I feel is a giant, heavy, Blah? It’s like a big rock is just sitting on my stomach. Sometimes I am afraid that I’m not dealing with my sister’s death at all, so I write in my journal over and over: Tate is gone. Tate died. My sister died. I have [...]

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Further Up and Further In

“They are in a better place now” is the cliche you always hear when someone dies. Cliche or not, the thought of Heaven has been a great comfort to me. I believe Tate IS in a better place. I read some quotes today in a book called When Sorrow Comes by Robert V. Ozment. “The [...]

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Conflicted

I was doing ok today until I went to Tate’s Myspace page. I watched the images of her slideshow go by, and I just sat here and choked out sobs. She looks so happy in the pictures. So fun to be around. So smiley and gorgeous. The conflict for me is that I haven’t seen [...]

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Navigation

My little sister Cindy and I stood looking into Tate’s casket on Wednesday night and asked each other, ‘Is this it? I mean, have we actually accepted this? Are we still in denial? Shock?’ Because after the initial horrible-ness of seeing her laid out–actually dead–in the funeral home, we sort of got used to it. [...]

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Viewing/Funeral Info for Stacey “Tate” Smith

The viewing for Tate will be Wednesday, Sept. 3rd at Meehan Shilk Funeral Home in Ridgway, Pa. The address is 130 Center Street, and the times will be 2-4pm and 7-9pm. The funeral will be held Thursday, Sept 4th at 11:00am at the Ridgway Christian Missionary and Alliance Church, 16915 Boot Jack Rd (Route 219). [...]

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