So Sadie was sick and out of school all of last week. I tried to go into work once (lugging a suitcase full of entertainment for Sades: dvd player, coloring books, stencils, glittery pens, granola bars, barbies…) and why did I think I could get any work done? Oh, wait. I had forgotten. I still live in Realityland. One hour (and half a typed quiz) later, we repacked the suitcase and lugged everything home.
By Friday, her fever was down, but I still kept her home. Oh how I anticipated the coming of Monday, with all things becoming normal again; my life and time becoming somewhat my own again.
What’s that? No school?? Martin Luther King, Jr. Day?! Crap. I had forgotten. Ok. I could do one more day.
THEN I heard rumors of ice and sleet and freezing rain. It’s probably nothing, I thought. So I jumped out of bed Tuesday morning thinking ‘Hooray! Hooray for work! Hooray for school!’ And as I was joyfully drinking my coffee and daydreaming about how I could spend some time with adults again, Dan came in with the news. SCHOOLS ARE CLOSED!? You have got to be kidding me. I ran out and actually touched the road in front of my house. “It’s not icy HERE,” I shouted. Desperately.
So here it was. DAY 7 (not including the weekend) of How-THE-FREAK-did-I-do-this-before-Kindergarten?? I was literally at the end of my stay-at-home strength. I got into the shower, and I bawled my eyes out. I’m talking sobs, people. Edge of the cliff. Breakdown imminent. I started praying, telling God that there was ABSOLUTELY no way He could expect me to do this AGAIN. I was all out of energy, I was so tired of being the entertainer, I was weak and darn it! I just didn’t want to.
Then I realized that God would not give me more than I could bear, and so I changed my prayers to asking for strength to face the day. And to help me accept whatever He needed me to learn though this difficulty. I know, some people have terrible diseases, and people are dying of starvation, and there is suffering everywhere, but my desperation was real to me. So I decided, still there in the shower, to thank God for all of the things I was grateful for: Sadie’s health, a warm house to live in, the gift of being a mom, an amazing and understanding husband…
And what do you know? As the hot water was running out, I really started to feel better. Like Aslan breathing on Lucy and saying “Now you are a lioness,” strength came back to me and knew I could do it. (All of my homeschool mom friends are like, rolling their eyes, and thinking what a wussy-pants!! We do this EVERYDAY, sister!) And oh how I admire and applaud your efforts.
But since God gives each of us DIFFERENT gifts…let me just say THIS Wussy-pants is jumping for joy that my baby is at school, and I got to go to work today. I love normal!
Thank you for writing this.
Hahaha! I’m sorry for your near-insanity, but this is really quite funny. I’m laughing with you, not at you.
I think it’s a personality thing, really. I can joyfully handle homeschooling Isabelle and Ethan. And Oliver is just an absolute delight. But Trevor… ah…that child is…hyperactive. In all honesty, he makes my heart rate climb and I just want to pull out my hair and run screaming down the street. Which is why he goes to preschool two glorious days every week. I love him to pieces, but we just seem to butt heads a lot and he’s loud. Very loud.
Don’t feel bad about your mommy-ing, we all have those days (weeks/ months…)
Shelley,
I found your blog and love it! You are so honest, shockingly honest at times, but I love it!
Elizabeth
Marcy–you are welcome.
Wendy–I’m glad you enjoyed my story…and that you related. 🙂
Elizabeth–Welcome! I hope you come back often. Do you have a blog I could check out?
Hey Shelley!
Ha, I hardly do the internet thing, so no I do not have a blog.